A SUCKER’S STORY “Never give a sucker an even break.” It’s one of those delightful Americanisms and of course the part nobody ever wants to find themselves playing is: The Sucker! Sometimes, if I arrive at my local poker club in Marbella an hour or two earlier than my usual 11pm, I often notice a small group of seniors playing Texas Hold’em at a smart corner table. The youngest guy at the table has to be mid to late sixties and from there on we cruise up to a seventy seven year old English character known locally as “Flashback Felix”. This is an unkind reference to his habit of recalling past glories at the poker table whilst in the middle of a re-raising battle. Anyway, as a youthful fifty nine year old, I politely introduce myself with a nod only to be invited to take up the tenth and vacant chair. (“One of them has kicked off during the week” I think compassionately to myself). I deliberately decide to play a straight game, no bluffs and be respectful to the friendly white topped and balding gentlemen ringing the table. Long story short, in less than two hours they gutted me like the young punk they had obviously taken me for. As I made my goodbyes two of them were nice enough to remark how much they enjoyed the column in the Daily Star (The paper comes out every morning on the Costas) and “Would I be coming again next week?” The “sucker” suppressed the temptation to introduce a middle finger into the otherwise cordial proceedings. You’re never too old to learn in poker. Re-telling old poker glories is a brilliant and totally distracting strategy. Personally, I hope Felix chokes on his Horlics.
RETREATING TO ONLINE Fortunately my luck picked up the following night online where I rammed a Jack high flush down the throat of three smiling Kings in a heads up which returned eighty per cent of my previous evening’s losses. Despite that, I’m hiding my face socially for at least a month.
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FREQUENTLY ASKED POKER QUESTIONS Q: What is a “cold call”? A: This is when a player calls a raise and a re-raise when he himself has no money at all invested in the pot.
Q: I started playing online poker just a few days ago and things aren’t going that well. I play a lot of hands and I enjoy the game. I win a lot and I lose it all back. What’s up with that? A: The clue is in your own question and it’s a common problem with a majority, if not all, new players. You are playing too many hands. Learn to be patient. You must wait for playable hands. As a new player that means premium hands. When you land the right cards get behind them with bags of confidence and extract their value from the table. As you develop skills and instincts you will find yourself able to sense when hole cards of slightly less quality can be used to engage the enemy.
