Bad beats, drawing dead, and how to shoot your hood full of lead -- the wonderful world of poker!
POKER'S BADDEST BEAT OF ALL! Whilst writing yesterday’s oddball poker column about the wealthy Chinese poker player and his ability to squirt milk out of his tear ducts I was reminded by a poker buddy about a guy he had encountered in Alabama who had a particularly bad beat, stormed out of the high stakes game he had lost and couldn’t start his Chevrolet. External gunfire was heard from within the card room where my buddy was playing and everyone stormed outside to see the enraged Southern gentleman emptying all six bullets from his “saturday night special” into the bonnet of his car. “It had it coming!” he apparently grunted. Obviously a player you’d be better off encountering online.
FREQUENTLY ASKED POKER QUESTIONS Q: What does Drawing Dead mean? A: Well, it’s not playing poker with a bunch of stiffs, although you might want to consider that one. Drawing dead actually means a situation where there are still cards to come through but you are sure none of them will help improve your hand.
Q: I had a guy playing me online who insisted on announcing his cards through the chat box as he faces off. Sometimes he had the goods and sometimes he was just bluffing. Is this kosher? A: You could have reported him to the site or you could simply switch off your chat box and let him irritate the rest of the table. Sometimes it’s a good idea to railbird for a while and just watch what a player like this does. You’ll probably spot a rhythm you can exploit. It’s not kosher but it certainly happens from time to time. Try it yourself! It’s a bit like a professional foul in soccer. You might get a yellow card from the site but if you do it too often you’ll get a red.
PLAYING POKER VIRGINS Q: I have been playing poker for nearly twenty years but whenever I come up against complete poker virgins I fair extremely badly. Any thoughts on this? A: Firstly, don’t feel bad about it. Even the great Doyle Brunson is on record as saying new amateur players always give topline professionals grief because they’re oblivious to the game’s subtleties. There’s a good passage in Doyle’s “Super System” poker Bible all about how to play them. In short, don’t try and bluff them and don’t try anything clever. Remember Doyle’s immortal words, “You can’t outsmart an idiot!” Only play premium or near premium hands and be prepared to accept beginner’s luck with good grace.
